Confessions of a Coward- Part One

Coward:A person who lacks the courage to do or endure dangerous or unpleasant things. The word coward is a strong, negative word and I am sure a word that no one wants attached to their name, but the truth is many of us are indeed cowards. If anyone is coward, it is me. I have been a coward in many areas of my life and this series is about those areas.

For most of my adult life I was drowning in sin. I sat of the fence between my social life full of partying , the girls I chased, the porn I was addicted to and my life as a believer in Christ. I put up a convincing facade of a well put together and righteous believer, but in fact on the inside I was drowning in sin and dying. I hid my sin from everyone- my pastors, my friends and my family. I would occasionally tell a close friend or pastor half of my struggles, but never fully opened up to anyone about the sin that I was enslaved to. I did not have the courage to surrender my sin to my Heavenly Father nor the courage to confess that sin to those who cared most about me. Recently my sin, my lying, my lack of courage, the sin I was hiding and the inner coward in me was brought out. I will further discuss these areas and exactly what happened later in this series.

The bible is clear about the concealment of sin. Proverbs 27:17 says that as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. God puts men and women in our lives to confess our sins and struggles to. These people will not judge and will not abandon you. They may be disappointed, but they are placed in your life by God for one thing- to help you become everything that God made you to be.

Proverbs 28:13 says Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper,but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. You will never get victory of your sin unless you confess it to the Godly men and women in your life.If you continue you hide and ignore your struggles, they will be brought out of the dark into the light. I carried my sin and my struggles for so long, hiding them from the people in my life who loved me the most. When I finally was forced to share these struggles with my friends, pastors and family it hurt, but I was set free. The weight off my heart that was lifted by finally surrendering to those closest to me has left me feeling nothing but alive on the inside- and this is what God wants for us.